THE DIRTY DOZEN w/e Oct 14th 2012

Letter to Catherine Mayer, editor of Time (Europe) magazine:

Dear Catherine,

After much head-scratching I have finally figured out the reasoning behind your Celtic Comeback article featuring Ireland's Taoiseach Enda Kenny.

IT WASN'T because of any significant reduction recently in our Gross National Debt - in fact this is increasing at an alarming rate, from €42bn (2007) to €72bn (2008) to €97bn (2009) to €110bn (2010) and then in the Kenny period, to €137bn (2011) and €151bn (June 2012) - that's an increase of €14bn in the first six months of this year alone;

IT WASN'T because of any significant reduction recently in our Gross Government Debt which also includes the Promissory Notes and is thus approx. €30bn greater than the above figure;

IT WASN'T because of any significant reduction recently in our Gross Government Debt as a percentage of Gross Domestic Product, which has also risen dramatically over the last five years (and counting) - 25.0% (2007) to 44.5% (2008) to 64.9% (2009) to 92.2% (2010) and in the Kenny period, to 106.4% (2011) and still rising;

IT MOST CERTAINLY WASN'T because of any significant reduction recently in our Gross Government Debt as a percentage of Gross NATIONAL Product which - as anyone with even a passing knowledge of Irish economic affairs knows - is a far more accurate barometer of economic trends in Ireland, where gross output is skewed by the multi-nationals. The GGD/GNP (€129bn) percentage at the end of 2011? How about 131%?

IT WASN'T because of any significant reduction recently in our bank debt burden. Far from the return of up to €50bn spoken of so bullishly in our media after the 'seismic shift' of the EuroZone leaders' June summit, we haven't had a red cent of the €70bn we've been blackmailed by the ECB into putting into our banks - in fact our bailed-out banks are CONTINUING to pay bonds, another €3bn+ paid since that June summit;

IT WASN'T because of any significant reduction recently in the odious Promissory Notes, €28.33bn of which still hangs over our heads. In fact in the same official Irish government report  from which all the above figures are taken, on page 20 is outlined the shameful manner in which the 2012 P Note of last March was dealt, Enda Kenny's government opting to transform what was disputed debt into a Sovereign Bond redeemable by the next generation of Irish people, in 2025, and at an interest rate more than double what was available should they have borrowed from the European emergency fund;

IT WASN'T because of any significant reduction recently in the unemployment level which has risen gradually and inexorably under Enda Kenny, now approaching the 15% mark; were the true figures known, however, the all-inclusive undisguised figures, it's at least a couple of percentage points above that;

IT WASN'T because of any significant reduction recently in the numbers leaving our shores - over 80,000 emigrated in the last 12 months;

IT WASN'T because Enda has decided to stop crushing the most vulnerable here at home and start to take on head-on the major vested interests domestically as he finally goes about closing the still yawning gap that is the budget deficit.

So what was it? I looked and looked for signs of your 'Celtic Comeback', Catherine Mayer, for any valid reason why Enda Kenny might grace the cover of your prestigious and widely read magazine, and finally there it was, staring me in the face - the answer is in the title. 'The Irish Answer.' Sure doesn't the world know we're masters of irony, of the contradictory word and statement. 'A fierce nice girl'; 'I will, yeah!'; or in your own case here, just as a mother or father might come home to view a mess left by the kids - 'Well isn't that just lovely!' Mind you, in our case the mess is being left for the kids by the fathers (especially) and by the mothers.

Ah Catherine, you had us all going there for a while. Aren't you the fine journalist now, all the same! Isn't it Enda's personal charisma (JFK isn't in it with him), his magnificent leadership qualities (Michael Collins, eat your heart out), his brilliance as an orator (Daniel O'Connell, move aside there), his courage in battle (didn't Angela feel the touch of his blade at that June summit - not a man to be messed with, our Enda) - isn't it all of that? All on his own isn't our Enda the Celtic Tiger reincarnated, for Godsake, The Celtic Comeback Kid himself! Good on ye, Catherine!

Here my friends, for your edification, the next 12 bonds. Ye'll notice Anglo featuring to the tune of about €308 (more actually, those currency conversion rates calculated over a year ago and we know where the euro has gone since then) but sure as Catherine Mayer might say, isn't that only small change to us these days?